Shocking Saturday: Cockneys vs Zombies

Today’s Shocking Saturday is a film which I have been meaning to watch for a while, being a British, horror-comedy I was hoping that it might be the next ‘Shaun of the Dead’. Although it did offer some light British humour and great zombie kills, the poor dialogue and flimsy story-line really let it down.


The story follows two brothers, Terry (Rasmus Hardiker) and Andy (Harry Treadaway), as they bring a team of petty criminals together to rob a local bank in order to save their grandfather’s (Alan Ford) retirement home. Unfortunately whilst they are attempting the robbery a zombie outbreak begins to take over London. The gang escape the bank but must find a way to, first get to their grandfather’s retirement home, and then fight off the undead and get out of the city. Along the way blowing off some heads and spewing out rhyming slang left, right and centre.

What probably holds most of this film together – including the reason why a lot of people will watch it – is because it stars British actor Alan Ford in it. You might recognise him as the loud-mouthed character ‘Brick Top’ from the Guy Ritchie’s gritty comedy ‘Snatch’. However, although he does make for a few laughs, it seemed as though there was more of his cockney slang than actual zombies in the film.

One high point has to be the starring of partially famous British actors/actresses. Along with Alan Ford we are also treated to the womanly macho-ness of Michelle Ryan who made her fame from Eastenders, I Want Candy, Merlin and Cashback. Also Tony Gardner, who we all know as the father from ‘My Parents Are Aliens’, and Lead Balloon.

I can’t say that Cockneys vs Zombies was terrible though, because for a small budget it was enjoyable, but it is another one of those – and horror fans will know what I am talking about – horror films where the plot really hasn’t been thought through enough. One which puts gore over the writing, in some films that can be good, but to do it well the story and effects really need to be level with each other.

I am still waiting on another British horror-comedy which can match up to ‘Shaun of the Dead’, alas Cockneys vs Zombies is not it.

Tag Line: The Undead Are Brown Bread

Horror Rating: (:-O) (:-O)

Star Rating: